Maria Guadalupe Ocampo
A year ago today, I felt as if the world stopped revolving. As if the whole world went in slow motion and I just saw every one's lives flash by me in happy spurts. All the while, mine went in slow motionbut in slides of devastation. No matter what the cause, losing a family member is devastating. There isn't anything that can or will prepare you for such an event. You can "prepare" to show face in front of others and help console them as a form of self consolation but if you have gone through this, then you know exactly what I mean.
I, at times, let that loneliness and pain take over because grieving is the only way to pacify that internal agony. If you feel like crying, then cry a river! It will bring a sort of relief. Through the sleepless night, endless tears, and swollen eyes, it sheds a million pounds off your heart, even if it is just temporary. You feel like you need to talk? Talk into thin air! So what if people think you're crazy? Your loved one hears you anywhere, at all times! This day, a year after your loss, face it! Face your biggest fears and visit your loved one's gravesite. Leave flowers, decorate their tomb, do whatever makes you feel at peace with yourself and with them! Make an alter at your own home.Play their favorite music, eat their favorite foods, use their favorite cologne, perfume, clothes. Anything but acknowledge them because they still, even in their physical absence, they play a major role in your life and who are you are as a person.
With our Mommy on our birthday
Jayme with our Mommy 4/2007